My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
