Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
