We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
