Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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