it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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