Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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