i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
