im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
