ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
