I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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