Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
