fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
