Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
