soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
