So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
be right there i have to get my cape
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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