Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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