the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
pray to the hookup gods
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