I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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