if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
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it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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