Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
