Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize