Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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