Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize