Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
