So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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