I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
