maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
