He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
