His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
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I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
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I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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