Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
