I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
