after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize