His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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