i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I puked a lego.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
