Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
