Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
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