I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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