I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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