just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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