how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize