that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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