4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
