I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize