You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
