I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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