I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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