So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
