Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
