how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
