just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
