Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
