Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
