You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
