at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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