I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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