Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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