She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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