he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
