if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
