I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
