Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

You love popeyes more than me

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?

Fav 34 5123 1470
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose

Fav 32 13687 1225
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye

Fav 8 1247 4229
share tweet
(952): View more from Minnesota

Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.

Fav 13 1609 4303
share tweet
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.

Fav 18 3349 1205
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.

Fav 2 3123 1041
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(812): View more from Indiana

Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.

Fav 26 2369 1585
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.

(1-512): View more from Texas

I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.

Fav 5 1311 675
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+61): View more from Australia

Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left

Fav 3 17 51
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT