i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED