Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She made me pour olive oil on her.