All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"