So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
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How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
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It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.